Dating a married man downside

I am in a forum where we discuss women issues on line and this topic comes up whether we like it or not,even in daily life it comes up.A lady asked me a question the other day and I thought before I give her feedback I will try to enlighten some women out there,stubborn or not.She asked me,I dated a man for almost three years,the relationship was long distance,but within no time i began to fall in love with this man.Am a single mum to a young 3 year old boy.After sometime, I felt we had matured in ‘love’ and felt it was time for us to meet,yes we met and all went well and yes we decided that within no time we shall take our relationship to the next level,which i agreed as i felt this was real.Am not telling you this to judge me but to help me with what i must do,she said.

After a while,i discover that this man is still married but still not living with his wife as they are separated as he had alleged.I keep finding this man’s half truths and by the day am getting so disappointed in him and am so hurt more than ever.I had never envisioned this man to be a liar,maybe i fell in love too quickly and believed in him too early?.Now am so disappointed but am uncertain as to what I must believe in or must i quit but i am in love and my son likes him already.Now keeping in mind that the woman is still in love,I had this to tell her and thought i must share this with my fellow women and men.

This man has lied to you,has caused emotional pain in you but you still love him,i understand but am sure you have dealt with such men only that you believed he would be  different.Please try to ask for guidance from God and give it time,with time you may realise that it was never meant to be!This man has been with you and has made you discover your inner potentials and abilities,but what are these if he is making you very miserable and never tells you the truth.He is married darling,how sure are you that this man is playing you if he hasn’t taken you to meet with his people?What else is he hiding under his sleeve and what more shocking news are you prepared for?

Carry yourself with pride and so much esteem,you are a great woman who tried a hand in love without knowing you are dating a ‘taken’ man.Forgive yourself and next time don’t fall too hard too quickly.It is time for your recovery and steps have to be taken no matter what.Once he is married he has a long life commitment to someone,which he must fulfil no matter what.He must never try to justify his actions by dating another woman.He is not even comfortable telling you that he is married still,what does that make of the relationship?He must fix his situation first and if you were meant to be,it will sure work out am assuring you.This is a difficult situation but you have to find ways to deal with a heartbreak and move on with life and care for your kid.

For men out there moving on even before they are divorced and lying about their status,please,don’t do this,a woman might fall for you genuinely,she will open her heart and you will leave her more hurt than ever before.Try to be open always,stop being what  you are not.What is wrong with a little truth and what is love without truth?Who wants to start a life with a liar?My lady friend is hurt but am not sure what to tell her as this is a little complicated but i gave her my opinion as honestly as i could.Considering that a married man can decide to go to his wife even after some years of being together or even apart.I believe there is nothing left in this love,it is broken and destroyed unless some amends are made and the woman decides to take the man back after all these misunderstanding.

I believe there is nothing as complicated as dating a married man with or without kids.It is a deal breaker most especially if you end falling in love,the man is usually emotionally unavailable and that can often lead to being emotionally starved.Ladies no matter what a man tells you,never date him when he is taken unless he has prove that he is no longer taken,then at least you can decide if you want him or not.Never even look in the direction of a married man or if you are trying to look there,please stop,your special someone is awaiting you out there.Work on yourself and building you and stop stealing other people’s stuff.What if this was you going through such humiliation?What would you do?Put yourself in this woman shoes or place.Dating a married man unknowingly is different but once the discovery has been made dust yourself and move on.

Be patient as someone will one day come along and you will be happy you waited.Don’t cause grief to another woman.My friend move on and forget this man until this man puts his life together then you will be free to decide what you want.Never despair!!!

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